Share your favorite mobile phone jokes and and SMS text jokes. Vote on mobile phone SMS jokes and see the most popular cell phone jokes on the site.

Most Popular Jokes

Whats yellow and blue...

2087
vote

Whats yellow and blue and has a tight ass at one end?

A Lidl's carrier bag.

3 Nuns and a soap dispenser

1917
vote

Two priests are off to the locker room late one night.
They undress and step into the showers before they
realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to

Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

1913
vote

Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

Cos they're plugged into a genuis!

Happy and sad

1909
vote

A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said 'Babe, tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.'

What does a dwarf get?

1890
vote

What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?

A clit round the ear and a flap across the face.

How to get a bigger bust

1875
vote

A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger.

He said try rubbing toilet paper between your tits once a day, it worked for your arse!

Rats evening out

1874
vote

Two rats in a sewer.
The first says 'I'm sick of eating shit all day'.
The second replies 'Cheer up, we're on the piss tonight'.

German sex

1723
vote

A German guy approaches a prostitute.

"I vish to buy sex viz you."

"OK," says the girl, "I charge 200 euros an hour."

"I got to warn you I am a little Kinky

Doctor, Please kiss me

1677
vote

'Doctor, would you please kiss me' says the patient.
'No, you are a very beautiful woman but it's against my code of ethics' replies the doctor.
'Please, just one kiss' she pleads.

Football and drinking

1536
vote

When Beckham scores I drink BECKS, when Scholes scores its SKOL, when Liam Miller scores its MILLER. Thank god David Seaman is a goalkeeper.