Jokes 4 Mobiles Make your phone smile

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My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that
'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

Sometime in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the Devil.

Two priests are off to the locker room late one night.
They undress and step into the showers before they
realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to

Whats yellow and blue and has a tight ass at one end?

A Lidl's carrier bag.

Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

Cos they're plugged into a genuis!

'Doctor, would you please kiss me' says the patient.
'No, you are a very beautiful woman but it's against my code of ethics' replies the doctor.
'Please, just one kiss' she pleads.

A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said 'Babe, tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.'

A German guy approaches a prostitute.

"I vish to buy sex viz you."

"OK," says the girl, "I charge 200 euros an hour."

"I got to warn you I am a little Kinky